the biggest loser

so I usually try not to post about my diet woes because my bragging usually ends up kicking me in the butt, as shortly after I brag I fail at my plan… but I will blog short and sweet. my hubby and I are having a contest. actually it is a pretty good idea seeing that it keeps me movtivated. we are doing the biggest loser, of sorts, for one month, trying to see who wins. the winner gets a new gadget of their choice (think IPOD or maybe a Kindle - my hubby will most certainly go for some schmancy gadget, so why not?). So this is week 2. We are doing it for one month or about 5 weeks till his 20 year highschool reunion. So far I have not fallen off the wagon except one night on saturday when we went out, but I think one bad night is ok, when before I was having 7 bad nights of bingeing. After dinner I have my sad little piece of gum and I pretend it is dessert. I find if I have something in my mouth to chew on I don’t think of snacking as much. Anyhow so far I am down about 5 pounds and I have actually worked out every day, something that rarely happens. Even though it has been mainly walking and pushups I feel like it is better to go easy than to go overboard and not stick with it. I hope to get this figure back:

 from our honeymoon, 5 years ago, 15 pounds ago…

is it summer 09 yet?

I guess I am feeling disenchanted with RI right now. Maybe it is just newport, who knows. I am ready for a change. Next summer we move hopefully to the west coast. I just don’t feel like RI is the warmest place to live in terms of people. Maybe it has to do with the weather, maybe it is the base. Who knows. But in previous places we have been stationed we have had great neighbors, great commands, cool spouses and lots of fun things to do. Here I feel like the base life, neighborhood… is just not a good fit for our family. I just get a different weird vibe, an uptight sort of vibe or maybe it has to do with a different rank here. I don’t feel like I have made any real friends here and neither has G. Friends from old commands have lost touch and this command is all about drama. Most spouses here have older kids so there are none I have much in common with. I just am not feeling RI tonight, not sure why…

I don’t think that is a good idea…

I had acupuncture free at work today. Yes I know free acupuncture sounds a bit shady, but it was not on a street corner, it was in an actual doctors office. That is where I work, so I get freebies, which is cool. But as I sat in the room with my boss/doctor and told her of my sordid medical history I thought perhaps that was not a good idea. Now she knows about my menstrual cycle, my bowels, my love life, my sleeping issues, my insanity - could this be grounds for a surprise layoff? I wonder how that works. I guess because it is a patient/doctor relationship my stuff is confidential so she can’t come in tuesday and fire me and say it is because you are f*cking insane, have irregular periods, lost your libido, and are an insomniac, we no longer want you with our company… hopefully not! on a positive note, I slept like a rock all night after my acupuncture magic. It truly makes you feel like you are high, even though I have never done drugs other than prescribed xanax. It was good, the one good thing about this job.

so tonight hopefully my hubby and i are venturing towards a hot latin night… we are taking salsa lessons, I don’t know if we will both chicken out, but if we try it I think it would be fun and it would bring out my spicy side

I am one bad ass motha…

I ran last night and I left my neighborhood. Watch out folks! I actually went on the main road and came back in my neighborhood in a different entrance. How I got the motivation to run for 30+ mins when my period came and I have 50 day I would rather die than do anything cycles, is beyond me. But I did it! not so much psyched about the running part as I am about the leaving the neighborhood part. Take that mom and dad! I guess I did it because they are out of town, if they were here I would fear getting caught. If you think I am just all kinds of crazy read my post before this to update you on my mental state.

ride your bike, only to the end of our street…

I am 30. I can make my own decisions. I might even be able to go out after dark or go out in the winter without a scarf. But sometimes I forget this. My parents were so overbearing and over protective and strict that I sometimes think I am still a kid. Take for example, the other night I went for a walk for some exercise and I stayed on the few streets near my home. Driving home the next day I thought ooh wouldn’t it be cool to ride my bike outside the neighborhood, perhaps down to the store or to the ocean? Then I told myself, no way, you are not allowed to leave your neighborhood! Wait a minute, there is something wrong with that. I am grown up and I can do what I want to. My mom and dad don’t live with me and they don’t have to know I left the neighborhood. They either told me I was not allowed as a kid or scared me with stories from America’s Most Wanted. But now 30 years later I am still scared to leave my own housing area and I don’t know why. I think it would be liberating to run or ride my bike outside my own familiar streets but I know I would not make it back home alive… that’s normal thinking right?

do you like my new header pic?

i took it outside my back fence! i know, you are amazed at my photographic skills…not! i take one really professional looking photo every few years or so…

i am trying to lessen contact or rid myself completely of toxic people in my life. my ex-best friend who has not spoken to me in 4 months over some stupid issue - if she is willing to throw away 15 years of friendship over me giving her cousin some advice, so be it. i just have to keep myself from sending nasty emails… my folks are here for the summer and they are more toxic than ricin poison. i have to remove myself from their drama and remind myself that i am 30 and they need to keep their marriage drama to themselves. though an afternoon with them finds me shaking, holding myself saying, “find a happy place, find a happy place”

i don’t know what to do with myself!

first frissa was up screaming at 7am - unusual for her since she usually sleeps till 8:30. so then i got her settled in and back to sleep. then she woke beanie up who joined me in bed. i never actually get G to fall back asleep but i did! so now they are both out cold and here i sit wide awake! argghhh!

new job is going better and i found a sitter, who will hopefully work out well. family coming down for the 4th and lots of celebrating boomies, G’s favorite holiday! now if i can just sleep in…

ma ma ma!

so I used to have better luck ignoring Sofia for a bit in the morning or after her nap because she might fuss a bit and then go back to sleep. Or she would talk to herself a bit and then entertain herself. I am not a morning person so it takes me a bit to get moving. But now she knows how to say Ma Ma so it is a lot harder to ignore her. She shouts Ma Ma Ma! Ma Ma Ma! over and over and it is like she is saying, hey lady, stop ignoring me and get your butt moving! so now that she is calling me specifically by name I have to actually get out of bed ASAP and attend to her needs. Of course she usually sleeps till 8:30+ but today when G is gone at a sleepover at Nana’s RV, she is up at 7. I can’t tell you how many mornings G is up so early and I am like wait till Sofia is up… as we wait for Sofia to awake. But today Sofia must have been missing me because she was telling me off early! I tried just covering my head with the pillow today, but the MAMAMA got louder and louder. Then when I go in her room she just grins like this:  How can you not melt when someone looks at you like that and is that happy to see you! No one in my life is that happy to see me ever! I think for the most part most people I interact with think I am intense or very frantic and hectic so they definitely don’t light up when they see me. So I will enjoy this while I can!

ativan is my friend

I have been feeling a bit stressed lately, over this whole new job thing and finding a sitter. I realize the difference of working as a mom. before I could commute at my leisure, doing what I needed to do to get to work, leave when I needed to… now I have to make sure my sitter is here in time, I can’t just leave the house, obviously! it is a balancing act. so I have been waking up at like 3am and not going back to sleep till like 6 and I am getting burnt out. but I get free acupuncture at work so I might take them up on it and tell them to poke a pressure point that induces deep sleep (how do I drive home after this) :). anyhow I intereviewed one sitter but she seemed a bit odd so I am not sure about her, gut feeling… and I am interviewing another tomorrow, but they cost an arm and a leg. not that I am making big bucks and I took the job mainly to get a few hours of adult interaction a few times a week, but I wanted to at least pocket a bit of money.

so I thought about hiring a neighborhood gal who was like 16 and charged half of what salve girls charge. her first interview she brought her boyfriend along and wore a bikini, so I said to myself, maybe this is not a good fit, but I went ahead and hired her. her first day of work she called one hour before my work started and said she forgot she had someone else to babysit for that day. so this made me think she is not too reliable. anyhow, I rethunk the hiring her part and now have been interviewing college girls. hopefully the one i meet tomorrow will be a good fit and I can be settled.

anyhow, the ativan (or however you spell it) I drove over to my dad’s to get tonight is kicking in, so I need to go to bed… hope you are all well out in bloggy land! btw here is my saviour, my dad, and his grandbaby, who everyone says is his twin…

Call Me Mike Hachey!

Ok so the odds of Mike googling his own name and finding my blog are slim. But I can at least put myself out there. Everyone has a schoolgirl crush from when they were younger. I can make a list:

1st grade: Shannon Morin (yes this is a boy)

3rd grade: Kevin Shiftlet & Danny Marcey

7th grade: Jason Martin

8th grade-college: Mike Hachey…

so through middle school, high school and college. I loved Mike. He ended up going to my school for all three, I hoped he even followed me to college to start our torrid love affair since he was popular in high school and I was not, and figured he waited till college so no one from our hometowns would no. But it never happened. There was a rumor that he had a crush on me in 8th grade and he even called my house one time when I was not home. But I was victim to many cruel pranks in HS and middleschool, so I never knew if that was true. Obviously I was not going to just call him back! Anyhow our love affair never commenced.

I had a dream the other night that he whisked me away from my family and Campy was ok with it. He was willing to share me, which was quite funny. Anyhow I woke up thinking of Mike and wondering where he is today and if he still aches to be with me. yeah right! He is an elementary teacher in my home town and I am sure his kids love him. But It made me think, do you ever think of your old crushes and wonder where they are today? I searched for a few on myspace and my choices turned out quite good, as they all grew up to be quite hunky! Who was your secret crush that you wrote inside your mead folders or trapper keeper?